For many families, Thanksgiving is a joyful time of togetherness. But for families who have children or adult loved ones with disabilities, the holiday can bring unwanted stress. Crowded houses, loud conversations, unfamiliar foods, disrupted routines, and the pressure to have a “Hallmark holiday” can quickly turn an otherwise lovely day into an overwhelming experience.
The good news? With planning, flexibility, and realistic expectations, Thanksgiving can become a holiday that’s genuinely enjoyable for everyone. Here are some ways to create a stress-free celebration.
Keep routines as consistent as possible
Routines bring predictability—and predictability can bring peace. If your child depends on a consistent schedule, stick to it as much as possible by maintaining wake-up times, meals, medications, sensory breaks, and bedtime. If you’re visiting someone else’s home, share your routine ahead of time so hosts understand what helps your child or disabled family member feel most comfortable.
If you anticipate changes (like eating later than usual), prepare your child using visual schedules, social stories, or simple explanations. Even small cues like, “After we watch the parade, we will eat”—can reduce anxiety.
Create a sensory-friendly space
Thanksgiving gatherings can be loud, crowded, and unpredictable. Set up a quiet, comfortable retreat where your loved one can decompress. This might be a bedroom, corner of the living room, a walk or even a car ride break. Consider bringing tools such as noise-canceling headphones, a weighted blanket or lap pad, fidgets or sensory toys, favorite books or snacks.
Prepare your family and guests
Sometimes the biggest stress isn’t the holiday itself—it’s the pressure to manage other people’s expectations. Before family gatherings, consider sending a group text to relatives letting them know that while you’re excited to celebrate with them, your child or adult family member may need to take breaks during the visit; may not be up for hugs; or gets anxious around new people.
Plan a flexible menu
Though many of us look forward to Thanksgiving fare, it can be a major source of stress for families with disabled children or adult members. Between sensory sensitivities, allergies, and gastrointestinal issues, traditional Thanksgiving foods may not work for everyone. Don’t be afraid to bring your own food if your child has special dietary needs or just needs to maintain their dining routine. Similarly, if your child prefers to eat at their regular time, don’t worry about how others may react.
Choose inclusive activities
Thanksgiving isn’t only about food. Incorporate activities your whole family can enjoy. These may include favorite games, watching a favorite holiday movie, taking a walk, setting up a table with sensory objects, or playing a game in which all family members can participate. Do you best to avoid activities that feature large groups, long wait times, noise or anything that is overstimulating.
Put self-compassion on the menu
Perhaps the most important ingredient for a stressless Thanksgiving is self-compassion. It’s okay if plans change last-minute, if meltdowns happen, or if the day looks nothing like the holidays on TV. Don’t think of it as a loss. Remember: you’re doing your best in a world that’s not always disability friendly.
Here’s wishing you and your family a happy, stress-free Thanksgiving from all of us at Enabling Devices!
